Supervising Students: From Fright to Delight

When I started in my role nearly ten years ago, I felt either confident or excited about every part of the position except one – supervising students.  I knew that I could support, affirm, and teach students.  But how well could I hold them accountable? 

I supervise a team of 17 student peer ministers who plan weekly programs in the residence halls, eight of whom are first year students.  For some of them, this is their first real work experience.  They’re learning how to be responsible employees and cooperative team members.  Most of them are also learning to navigate difficult social waters. Some might make some poor choices along the way that do not reflect well on themselves and on the team.  And they end up in my office.

In the beginning, I lost sleep over these conversations and fretted extensively about what I would say and how they would react.  Somehow, in a way that continues to surprise me, I have stopped fearing these conversations.  In fact, I delight in them.  This is not because I take twisted pleasure in watching students squirm or be sanctioned. Rather, I delight in knowing firsthand that good can come from these interactions. I delight in the thought that these might be the most important conversations I ever have with some of these students.

But this delight did not come quickly nor easily.  Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Take Your Role Seriously

We have no idea what kind of supervisory experiences and relationships lie ahead of our students. They may never have a supervisor who truly cares about their personal and professional development, who offers honest and constructive feedback on their performance.  We need to be that supervisor so that they can recognize and improve unhealthy work environments they may be a part of in the future.  We need to offer a positive role model that they might draw from if they someday supervise staff of their own.

Don’t Avoid the Difficult Conversations

Bad habits will not fix themselves. Conflict will not go away on its own. We need to help students see and understand their own faulty or destructive behavior and how it impacts others. We might be one of the only ones doing that in their lives. We can help them to see that a conversation like this does not mean that “we don’t like them” anymore. I always try to say or do something afterwards to normalize our relationship – something that lets them know we’re okay. More and more we see students struggling with resiliency. We can help them see that they can make a mistake, learn from it, and rise up again.

Evaluate, Evaluate, Evaluate

Our team participates in 360 degree evaluations at the end of the first semester.  After collating feedback from a variety of people, I write summaries of strengths and areas of growth for each student and meet with them individually to discuss them.  I won’t lie – it’s a lot of work. But those conversations have become one of my favorite times of the year. The self-discovery, the moments of affirmation and challenge, and the reflection on how their work fits with the rest of their lives keep me returning to the same process. I know that without this or with only a written evaluation at the end of the year, this would be a very different work experience for the students.

Find a Mentor or Conversation Partner

Every year, I face a situation with a student that I’ve never faced before. I have found it incredibly valuable to talk with a colleague or supervisor before entering into a difficult conversation.  Sometimes, it helps me to check the baggage and assumptions I carry with me or gain a new perspective on the problem. Other times it simply boosts my confidence and affirms that I’m taking the right course. Afterwards, it’s helpful to walk through how things went as a means of evaluation and reflection. This is a learning and growth opportunity for us, too.

Be Kind to Yourself

We won’t click with every student. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, students will not see or take advantage of those opportunities for growth. We might finish a meeting with a student feeling like we handled it poorly or said something we shouldn’t have.  We might leave some constructive criticism unspoken because we just don’t feel like going there. We all have days like that. We wouldn’t want students to beat themselves up over their mistakes.  We shouldn’t either.  I believe our power to do good is much stronger than our power to do harm when we’re working with students from a place of care for their wellbeing and development. We can only do our best, learn from our mistakes, and get back at it tomorrow.

Supervising students is difficult work. It requires much of us if we are to do it well. But it is truly a privilege and a delight to have this role at such a formative time in a young adult’s life.

Rebecca Lahti, M.T.S., serves as the Assistant Director of the Program of Faith, Learning & Vocation at St. Norbert College in De Pere, Wisconsin. Her work focuses on supporting students in their exploration of purpose.