The Conundrum of Miswanting: An Overlooked Issue in Student Career-Life Planning

“How is it possible to get what we want and yet not like what we get?” Gilbert & Wilson (2000)

The Case of Jono

What happens when the career ladder you are climbing is leaning up against the wrong wall? Jono is a high-ability second-year undergraduate who was initially interested in a competitive business program at his university. He worked diligently for two years, earning straight A grades in all his prerequisite courses. Like his mother, Jono wanted to pursue accounting and finance, hoping to secure a prestigious internship that would lead to a high-paying job. After gaining admission to the selective business college, Jono took additional coursework within his majors only to find that he did not especially enjoy the curriculum. 

Furthermore, he found his peers to be overly intense and not collaborative on the group assignments that faculty assigned. Frustrated and deflated, Jono decided to leave the business program in favor of creating his own individualized major at the same institution. After transitioning to the new program, Jono eventually became more comfortable–and happier–with his decision to switch his pathway.

 

What Is Miswanting?

According to Gilbert and Wilson (2000), “when the things we want to happen do not improve our happiness, and when the things we want not to happen do, it seems fair to say that we have wanted badly. Why should this happen to people as clever and handsome as us?” (p. 179). In other words, we frequently tend to miswant the things we initially sought out. Miswanting as a concept seems to make sense, yet it is somewhat more complex and nuanced especially when applied to college students. In the case of Jono, he likely miswanted. A connection between miswanting and career-life planning exists and is often overlooked–it merits further attention.

Academic inquiry around miswanting is not entirely novel, and Gibert and Wilson’s initial work on miswanting and forecasting future affective states is now over two decades old (Wilson & Gibert, 2003). Some of their first studies involved participant shopping lists and blueberry muffins. This blog does not allow for an extensive overview of the study but here is the snapshot: When shoppers were deprived of their lists, those who had consumed blueberry muffins bought fewer unwanted items than did those who had not eaten any muffins. Perhaps this is not too surprising; we have all heard the advice of not going to the grocery store on an empty stomach. One’s hunger may push shoppers to add items to the cart simply because they thought they wanted those items, when in fact they did not. 

 

More Than Blueberry Muffins: Student Goal Setting and the Quest for Achievement

How does the aimless consumption of blueberry muffins relate to college students and career planning? Trust me, it does. Often, students, faculty, and student affairs professionals have a vision of what will bring them happiness. The quest for happiness is frequently tied to the pursuit of success, often in the form of achievement (Choate, 2017). Recent reports from studies such as the CIRP UCLA Freshman Study find that students (over 85%) pursue college to attain a 4-year degree primarily so that they can make more money. In other words, the purpose of college is now to earn a high-paying and rewarding job (Higher Education Research Institute, 2020). This shift towards students’ focus on college as a means towards higher-paying jobs peaked in 2012-13 (89%), and this remains a primary reason for getting a degree. Many students feel pressure to earn perfect grades, secure the best paid internships, and land lucrative job offers after graduation, which can lead to stress and burnout. 

Hyper-achievement and perfectionism among college students are continuing to increase, leading to higher rates of depression and anxiety (American College Health Association, 2024). For example, over 35% of students surveyed reported receiving psychological support in the past 12 months. Some colleges are investing in elaborate honors programs and residence halls to help attract exceptionally talented students, who often come from out of state. For many assiduous students, anything less than an A is viewed as a failure. Students place themselves on a hedonic treadmill only to find that they are not especially happy once they reach their goals. Or they overestimate how happy they will be once they reach their destinations.

In my own work with students, I have seen these concerns with high-ability and high-achieving students, such as honors students and graduate and professional students. Other groups of students, such as first-generation students, may feel free to pursue certain majors or careers based on parents’ expectations. I often have conversations with Ph.D. students who are midway through their programs, and they question if the effort to gain a doctoral degree is worth all the effort. Occasionally, they can reach their goals (or be satisfied with their current roles) without the challenges and obstacles of earning the degree–and that is a reasonable decision.

 

Wanting What Is Not Known

Today’s students are bombarded with messages about what constitutes success. We live in an attention economy where success messages are everywhere (Roose, 2021). Either implicitly or explicitly, students are shaped by these images. Occupational stereotypes and specific jobs are often glamorized by the media (e.g., influencer, content creator, brand ambassador). Other times, students are pushed into a certain major or career pathway before they can fully explore their choices. Students mistakenly assume that there is a “correct” or ideal major when they might be better off selecting a pathway based on an integration of disciplinary interests and/or challenges they might want to address upon graduation (Laff & Carlson, 2025; Michel, 2023). 

Like Jono, students think they will like a specific major or career track before they craft experiments to try it out (Ibarra, 2023). Crafting experiments involves taking active steps to explore potential pathways, such as internships, service work, and project-based learning that provides first-hand applied experiences. Other students may work relentlessly towards their academic goals, sacrificing sleep, friendship, and fun social experiences that should be memorable hallmarks of an undergraduate experience. In a perfect world, the quest towards these successes should be worth it (e.g., getting into medical school, earning a scholarship, securing a promotion). But what happens when reaching these accolades or milestones does not feel like it is worth it?

 

What Is Worth Wanting?

I recently listened to an episode of the podcast, The Good Life Project, with Jonathan Fields (2024). He was interviewing Seth Godin, a successful writer and entrepreneur. They were talking about life strategy, focusing on Seth’s new book (Godin, 2024). The topic of “wanting” was introduced early in the episode. Fields mentioned an instructor at Yale University, Matthew Crausman, who teaches a class called “The Life Worth Living.” He regularly asks his students, “What is worth wanting?” and challenges them to reflect carefully on the meaning behind their personal and professional goals (Volf et al., 2023). In fact, Crausman begins the first day of instruction by telling students, “This class may ruin your life.”

Godin (2024) stated in the podcast that we live in a “system that is constantly pushing them to want more–and more does not mean better.” What am I willing to trade today to get tomorrow? Educator Parker Palmer (2000) encourages individuals to ask, ‘What does my life want from me?’ In other words, what is important–and what will bring the most meaning and happiness? 

 

Miswanting in Academia

I urge educators to actively engage in discussions with our students about what is worth wanting. Similarly, we can ask ourselves as professionals the same inquiry: “What in life do we really want?”

On a personal level, I experienced my own mini existential crisis during the last two years. When I was working diligently to go up for full professor at my university, my mentor, Dan, warned me to be careful of what I wished for. I was reminded that relentlessly pursuing promotions and awards is like a pie-eating contest: If you win the pie-eating contest, the reward will likely be more pie to consume in the future. Instead of having less work and less responsibility, I have more of both (i.e., more pie). As I ease into my new roles, I am re-evaluating what success looks like in mid-life. Instead of feeling the need to achieve all the time, I hope to move from a life of success to what author and entrepreneur Chip Conley calls a life of significance (Conley, 2024). One strategy to move towards generativity rather than stagnation is to recommit to serving and mentoring young students.

 

How Student Affairs Educators Might Address Miswanting: Four Key Strategies

There are several strategies that student affairs professionals and faculty members can integrate into their work with students.

• Initiate conversations about what students might want in terms of their personal and career life ambitions (Ho & Stebleton, 2024). When career is viewed holistically, every conversation with a student has the potential to make an impact (Stebleton & Ho, 2023). All higher education professionals can serve as career influencers.

• Encourage students to relax and reflect. Students often assume that there is one purpose or one pathway. The reality is that there are likely many purposes (Pillemer, 2016). Students have time even though they often feel rushed into making decisions about their futures. Students should foster a growth mindset as they actively explore a range of options before making decisions, if possible (Porterfield, 2024).

• Talk to students about miswanting as a concept. Student affairs professionals could share examples of miswanting in their own lives. Appropriate professional self-disclosure can serve as teachable moments for students who may be encountering similar experiences with incongruence between what they like and what they want.

• Reinforce the idea that it is okay to explore a wide variety of options, and even make mistakes. Building prototypes from a design perspective (Burnett & Evans, 2021) is a wise approach, as is Ibarra’s crafting experiments (2023). Whatever term you use, advise students to be curious and try out new experiences. These encounters may be by chance (i.e., planned happenstance)–yet they could lead to meaningful experiences (Krumboltz & Levin, 2004).

 

A Return to Jono

Was Jono’s ladder leaning up against the wrong wall? Did Jono make a mistake by focusing solely on accounting and finance without crafting experiments in advance? Perhaps, perhaps not. He likely did miswant those pathways for himself, but his decision-making processes should not be viewed as a mistake. With the support from his family and academic advisors he was able to pivot and find another direction that was more satisfying for him. Student affairs educators, including faculty and instructors, occupy unique spaces to make a difference in students’ lives and to support them in making decisions that they both like and want.

 

References

American College Health Association. (2024). American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment III: Reference Group Executive Summary Spring 2024. American College Health Association.

Burnett, B., & Evans, D. J. (2021). Designing your new work life: How to thrive and change and find happiness—and a new freedom—at work. Vintage. 

Choate, L. H. (2017). “Never enough”: Bridging the chasm between college women’s achievements and their anguish. About Campus, 22(2), 21-27. https://doi.org/10.1002/abc.21284 

Conley, C. (2024). Learning to love midlife: 12 reasons why life gets better with age. Little, Brown Spark. 

Fields, J. (Host). (2024, October 20). How to craft your “life strategy” with Seth Godin [Audio podcast episode]. In The good life project. https://www.goodlifeproject.com/podcast/how-to-craft-your-life-strategy-seth-godin/

Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2000). Miswanting: Some problems in the forecasting of future affective states. In J. P. Forgas (Ed.), Feeling and thinking: The role of affect in social cognition (pp. 178–197). Cambridge University Press.

Godin, S. (2024). This is strategy: Make better plans. Simon & Schuster. 

Higher Education Research Institute. (2020). CIRP Freshman Survey 2020. University of California, Los Angeles. https://www.heri.ucla.edu/infographic/

Ho, C., & Stebleton, M. J. (2024). Not all who wander are lost: Redefining career exploration and indecision in undergraduate students. Journal of College and Character, 25(2), 196-204. https://doi.org/10.1080/2194587X.2024.2326220

Ibarra, H. (2023). Working identity: Unconventional strategies for reinventing your career (2nd ed.). Harvard Business Review Press. 

Krumboltz, J. D., & Levin, A. S. (2004). Luck is no accident: Making the most of happenstance in your life and career. Impact. 

Laff, N. S., & Carlson, S. (2025). Hacking college: Why the major doesn’t matter—and what really does. Johns Hopkins University.

Michel, J. P. (2023). The challenge mindset: Empowering students to find meaning and purpose. In M. V. Buford, M. J. Sharp, & M. J. Stebleton (Eds.), Mapping the future of undergraduate career education: Equitable career learning, development, and preparation in the new world of work (pp. 167-182). Routledge

Palmer, P. J. (2000). Let your life speak: Listening for the voice of vocation. Jossey-Bass. 

Pillemer, K. (2016, January 19). Ask the aged. Aeon. https://aeon.co/essays/why-we-should-all-ask-our-elders-about-how-best-to-live 

Porterfield, D. R. (2024). Mindset matters: The power of college to activate lifelong growth. Johns Hopkins University Press. 

Roose, K. (2022). Futureproof: 9 rules for humans in the age of automation. Random House. 

Stebleton, M. J., & Ho, C. (2023). Career development is everyone’s responsibility: Envisioning educators as career influencers. Journal of College and Character, 24(3), 189-196. https://doi.org/10.1080/2194587X.2023.2224577

Volf, M., Croasmun, M., & McAnnally-Linz, R. (2023). Life worth living: A guide to what matters most. The Open Field.

Wilson, T. D., & Gilbert, D. T. (2003). Affective forecasting. In M. P. Zanna (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 35, pp. 345–411). Elsevier Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(03)01006-2

 

Discussion Questions:

1. What is miswanting and how does it relate to career decision-making from your perspective?

2. How might you be able to relate to Jono’s situation? Describe a scenario where you may have miswanted.

3. How might student affairs educators and faculty support students like Jono? What is one actionable step that you would take with this student?

4. What is the relationship between chance events and miswanting?

5. Identify one concept from this scholarly blog that you can apply to your own life or professional practice.

 

The author would like to thank Vic Massaglia and Gary Peter for their thoughtful edits to earlier drafts of this article.