Where Did April Go?

Although I am not a gambling person, I would be willing to put good money down on whether you have muttered any of the following in the past week:

 “Where did April go?”
“I can’t remember what day it is.”
“I’m just so busy.”

 I get it. It’s April in Student Affairs*. This is the last week of classes on our campus, too. I’m pretty sure my name has been legally changed to “Bye, Mama.” It’s that time of year when your Google calendar looks more like an elaborate game of Tetris than a calendar. Self-care is important. Being flexible with your time and role-modeling wellness is important. Putting the oxygen mask on yourself before helping the person next to you is important. I firmly believe all of that. However, it’s also time for all of us to be honest with ourselves. Are we contributing to the craziness? Here are a few questions I have been asking myself on a daily basis over the past few weeks:

Why did I choose to worry about that? I’m not speaking about that rush of relief when something turned out fine. I’m talking about worrying about 500 possibilities before they happen, as they are happening, even after the fact. I take the time to remind myself that worry is a choice. Worry is a waste of energy, energy that I could use for any number of other projects in the hopper. Worry and self-doubt are an anchor slowing any process to a standstill. I won’t start singing “Let It Go!” but you get the point.

Why did I thinking venting would help? Now, I truly believe in catharsis. Had a rough day? Go for a run. Knit for an hour. Turn the radio up in your car and sing at the top of your lungs. Catharsis is the release of emotion. Venting is not catharsis. Venting is complaining. When I vent, I put negativity out in the world and pull others into that negativity.

Why did I think I am the only busy one? I have learned that there is no great scorekeeper who tallies all of our commitments and to-do items. Playing one-up-manship with others doesn’t garner me points. Every time I get into a woe-is-me mentality, I remind myself that my grandfather put himself through seminary by shoveling coal into furnaces and I shut up. Yes, the work is sometimes hard.

How did I focus on students today? Walking into my office this morning, my mind was already churning through my to-do list: commencement script, end of year events, grade processing, etc. The first phone call into the office was from a father who needed to tell me that his child, my student, was hospitalized after attempting suicide this weekend. After helping him in the meager way I could, I hung up and cried for about five minutes. Then I immediately reached out to several of the students that I have been concerned about lately to check in on them. It shouldn’t take a dramatic event to remind me why I am here.

Now, I would challenge you [in case you hadn’t noticed, I am firmly on the challenge side of the challenge and support equation], to make your own list of questions. What questions do you need to ask yourself to identify where you are contributing to your own sense of April?

And one final challenge: I want you to sit up straight, take a deep breath, and laugh. I don’t care if it has to start off fake, but laugh…out loud. Tee hee. Giggle. Guffaw. Laugh. Keep laughing until it comes out naturally.

May is right around the corner.

*For those on quarters, read this in one month.

Niki Rudolph is currently the Director of Student Affairs at the Residential College in the Arts and Humanities at Michigan State University.  She completed her doctoral work at Michigan State University.  You can find her on LinkedIn or on Twitter @NikiRudolph.